Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
