just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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