i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
