Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
