i jhust puked up my retainher.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
