from now on my penis is your penis
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
