mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dignity is for republicans.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
