Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
