My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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