My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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