my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
