you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
