the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She's the barista slut.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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