ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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