I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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