Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
