it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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