That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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