She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
