ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
