Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
high people should be assigned attendants
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
