I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
