I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
