I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
