I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
