Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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