your room smells of hookers.
And success
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
