that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
