tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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