Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point đź’ś
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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