What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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