You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
