It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
