So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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