Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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