i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
