We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
