Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
