I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
