I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
