so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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