Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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