it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
foreskin is a definite game changer
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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