apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
