is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
