New low: just hacked my moms facebook
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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