Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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