Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Panties = found
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
