Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
