capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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